


The Set Up

by xslytherclawx



Series: Chanukah 5779 [6]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - America, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Leta Lestrange, Bisexual Newt Scamander, F/M, Hanukkah, Jewish Holidays, Minor Leta Lestrange/Theseus Scamander, Minor Queenie Goldstein/Jacob Kowalski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-09-11 20:58:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16860187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx
Summary: “Newt, you’re dangerously close to becoming a shut-in,” Leta said. “Do you even talk to anyone besides me? And classmates don’t count, not if you don’t spend time with them after class.”“I’m not a shut-in,” Newt said.“Then you won’t mind coming to a dinner party at my place next Saturday.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> somehow i thought i could write 16 fics in like two weeks and keep coming up with clever summaries and titles. idk why.
> 
> this is set in philly because i know philly and like honestly i really can't be bothered to do much research with 15 other fics for this chanukah thing.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Newt studies veterinary science in this AU, Leta is in her third year of law school, Theseus is a senator (just elected into his second term), Tina is a pre-law student (though idk her exact major), Queenie studies communications, and Jacob studies English. Not all of this is relevant, but that's where I ended up.
> 
> I also made the Scamanders WASPs, mostly because I can't imagine any American social class that would make Newt chafe more, but also partly because, well, technically speaking, the Scamanders in canon _are_ white anglo-saxon cultural-protestants.
> 
> * * *
> 
> this one will have a second part (the actual.... chanukah part) to be put out probably next week sometime? It wasn't intended to have two chapters, but here we are.

“You need to get out more,” Leta announced as she threw herself down on Newt’s sofa.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were going to law school here purely to antagonise me.”

“Not purely,” Leta said. “It’s also closer to your brother.”

His brother, the youngest senator to ever represent New York, who’d been top of his class at Yale Law. It was a lot to live up to – which was probably why Newt was in veterinary school. It was a respectable profession, but nothing his family deemed important. He didn’t know if his mother’s open disappointment or Theseus’s shrugging it off as Newt being  _ Newt _ and therefore  _ odd _ hurt more, but he’d tired of thinking on it.

“We can go to a gay club,” Leta said. “Woody’s is always a good time.”

“I don’t like clubs,” Newt said.

“Then a bar.”

“Leta, I need to study.”

“Newt, you’re dangerously close to becoming a shut-in,” Leta said. “Do you even talk to anyone besides me? And classmates don’t count, not if you don’t spend time with them after class.”

“I’m not a shut-in,” Newt said.

“Then you won’t mind coming to a dinner party at my place next Saturday.”

“A dinner party?” Newt asked. “Leta, I’m not going to a dinner party.” He’d been to enough when he’d lived in New York.

“Not like that,” Leta said. “It’ll just be us and a few friends.”

Newt glanced at her. “Only if you promise that this is the last of your schemes to try to get me to socialise.”

“Fine,” Leta said. “Saturday at seven.”

* * *

He showed up at Leta’s apartment at quarter to seven, and she ushered him in immediately. “Glad you could make it!”

The only relief was that she didn’t try to hug him – but then he saw Theseus in the room. Oh, no. Theseus being there was never a good sign.

“Newt!” Theseus greeted. He wrapped him in a hug, and Newt stayed stock still.

“Hello, Thees,” Newt said.

“How’s veterinary school been treating you?”

“It’s – good,” Newt said. “I – didn’t know you’d be here.”

“I didn’t either,” Theseus said. “Leta told me about it, and I had a last minute cancellation – thought I’d see my favorite brother.”

“Your only brother,” Newt said.

Theseus smiled and let go of him. “You’d still be my favorite.”

He didn’t know whether or not to believe him. He was, after all, a total disappointment to his entire family. Theseus was everything his parents wanted Newt to be: a lawyer, a politician, sociable, charming, straight, engaged to a girl from a respectable family. Newt’s Ivy League education aside, he knew that their parents didn’t appreciate that their younger son was a socially awkward bisexual shut-in who prefered animals to people.

It wasn’t Theseus’s fault, really, but he didn’t see how Theseus would prefer him over a brother who was more like, well, Theseus himself.

“Newt,” Theseus said. “Enough with that look. You would.”

“I’ve invited a few friends, too,” Leta said. “I’m not going to make you an eternal third wheel.”

This was a set up, Newt understood immediately, and he considered trying to make an excuse to leave. The only reason he stayed, he told himself as Leta corralled him into the living room, was because Leta would only plan something more embarrassing if he left. That was all there was to it.

The doorbell rang, and Leta went to answer it, so Newt turned to his brother. “This is a set up, isn’t it?”

“I don’t think she intends for you to actually date anyone she’s invited,” Theseus said, “but yes.”

Wonderful. That was exactly what Newt needed.

“Everyone’s here!” Leta announced as she led three new people into the living room.

Newt recognised the man immediately as his next door neighbor.

“You!” the man said. “You live next door to me, don’t you?”

“I think so, yes,” Newt said. “Newt Scamander.”

He didn’t miss how the girls looked at Theseus.

“Jacob Kowalski, and this is my girlfriend Queenie.” He wrapped an arm around the blonde girl – who was tall and very traditionally beautiful.

“Hi,” Queenie said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. And  _ you _ must be Theseus Scamander. I’ve seen your ads on TV.”

“Oh,” Theseus said. “Are you from New York?”

“New Jersey,” Queenie said with no small hint of pride, and Newt fought back a laugh at that. Not because he thought New Jersey is below him (he didn’t like to judge people based on where they came from, and while he didn’t think he’d ever live in New Jersey, personally, it wasn’t like it was  _ actually _ the worst place in America), but because of how she  _ dared _ Theseus to say something. 

“Well,” Theseus said, “at least you’re not my constituent. Otherwise I’d have to be on my best behaviour.” He winked, and Leta swatted at him.

It was typical charming Theseus, and Queenie laughed. The other girl, Newt noticed, raised an eyebrow. “Oh!” Queenie said, “this is my big sister, Tina. She’s going to go to law school.”

“Oh?” Theseus asked. “Where are you looking?”

“Yale and Harvard,” Tina said without any sort of hesitation.

“I went to Yale,” Theseus said. “And Newt did his undergraduate degree at Harvard – just to annoy our parents. They both went to Yale.”

“I don’t make my decisions based on what would most annoy our parents,” Newt protested, although his parents pushing Yale  _ had _ made him not want to go there. “Harvard had a decent biology program, and I didn’t want to stay in New York.” And Leta had gone to Harvard, too, with him, but there was no need to bring that up now.

“What do you study?” Tina asked.

“Me?” Newt asked.

“Yeah.”

Newt was entirely unused to people asking about him when Theseus was right there, but he cleared his throat and said, “I study veterinary medicine.”

“Aw, you’re gonna be a vet?” Queenie asked.

“That’s the plan, yes,” Newt said.

“That’s so cool! Teenie really likes animals, too! I mean, who  _ doesn’t?” _

“Our mother breeds horses,” Theseus said. “At our home in Connecticut, of course, not New York, so it’s clear where Newt got it from.”

“Our mother also thinks becoming a vet is a waste of my natural intelligence and that I should become a lawyer or a politician instead, as if that will somehow train me out of preferring animals to humans.”

“It hasn’t with me,” Leta said, “so why should it with you?”

“You’d have to ask my mother for her reasoning,” Newt said.

“But that would involve revealing my evil plan to  _ not _ go into corporate law, and then she’ll insist Thees is  _ absolutely _ too good for me.”

“I’d still marry you, regardless of what my mother thinks,” Theseus said.

“Oh, I know you would,” Leta said. “But I promised Newt this wouldn’t be a stuffy dinner party, so I think we should  _ stop _ talking about WASPs and socialites.”

“Thank you,” Newt said.

* * *

Three bottles of wine (for the four of them who were of age), a delicious meal, and a game of Cards Against Humanity (which Theseus resoundingly lost) later, Queenie, smug from her win, announced, “I think my prize is that you all have to come over for Chanukah next week. I make the  _ best _ latkes.”

“That sounds great!” Leta said.

“I’m not sure I’d be able to get away,” Theseus said. “It’s early this year, isn’t it? I’ve got to work until the fourteenth.”

“Well, I guess we can always check C-SPAN or something to see if you’re lying,” Queenie said. “That’s all right, though. What about you, Newt, sweetie?”

Newt looked from Queenie to Leta. Leta would never let him live it down if he turned her down. “I’m not a senator, so I haven’t got to work. I have got exams the week after, though, so I can’t stay too late.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” Queenie said. “We weren’t planning on it being anything late.” She pulled out her phone and tapped through some things. “The first night’s always just me and Teen, and there’s a thing at Hillel on Monday, so how’s Tuesday night?”

“I don’t have any plans,” Newt said.

“Neither do I,” Leta said.

Queenie grinned. “Great! Here; I’ll add you on Facebook and then we can set up a group chat with all the details.”

* * *

Newt stayed after a bit, ostensibly to help Leta clean up, but really because he figured it was safest to get her haranguing out of the way with Theseus there. He didn’t know why or how, but his brother had a calming effect on Leta – and now, of all times, he was grateful for it.

“You know,” Leta said as she and Newt collected the dishes, “I just meant for you to get some friends, but I think you’re smitten.”

“I’m not smitten,” Newt said. “Queenie’s practically still a  _ child, _ Leta.”

“Oh, not her,” Leta said. “Her sister. You kept stealing glances at her all night.”

Newt didn’t reply, which he hoped was enough of a hint to Leta to  _ drop it. _

“Tina’s in Phi Alpha Delta,” Leta said. “The law fraternity. That’s how I met her. She’s very smart, and really compassionate. Hell, if I weren’t engaged, I’d have probably asked her out.”

“Theseus is just in the kitchen, you know,” Newt said.

“He knows I’m bi, and that I’d never cheat on him, so I think he’d be fine. Newt, I’m not saying you’ve got to date her, but if you  _ want _ to… you both have a year left, here. It’s kind of perfect.”

The problem with Leta, and with her line of thinking, is that she assumed that it was impossible for someone to turn Newt down. And, well, it was  _ far _ from impossible.

“You’re too hard on yourself,” Leta said. “You’re really the nicest person I’ve ever met, you know, and – you know I wouldn’t be here without you. I don’t like seeing you making yourself unhappy. Just tell her you like her and ask her out to dinner – and do it now, before you get too invested – and if she says no, then she says no. But I don’t think she will.”

“You’re biased,” Newt said. “You’ve known me since we were children.”

“Fine,” Leta said. “Then I’ve always thought both of you Scamander boys were gorgeous, and you’re smart, and you love animals. That’s enough for most girls.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Queenie tries her hand at setting Newt and Tina up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is way way late, and I'm sorry about that, but it's here, and it's done!

As it turned out, both Queenie and Tina lived in the dorms, so their Chanukah party ended up being at Jacob’s apartment – right next door to Newt. So there was really no excuse. Not that Leta would have let him get out of it.

He knocked on the door right at seven, when Queenie had messaged the group to come over. Jacob answered the door. “Newt! Hey, welcome; come on in!”

Newt ducked into the apartment, which was a mirror image of his own. Tina was sitting on the sofa reading what looked like a textbook, and Queenie was fussing with a bottle of wine. “Oh, Newt, sweetie, hi!” she greeted. “Don’t tell your brother, okay?”

“He’s a senator, not a cop,” Newt said. “But I won’t.”

“I knew I liked you! Teenie, isn’t he just the sweetest?”

Tina raised an eyebrow at her sister. “For not telling his brother that you’re having a ritual glass of wine for a religious holiday?”

Queenie pouted. “Oh, you’re no fun!” She turned to Newt. “She really does think you’re the sweetest.”

Newt glanced over to Tina, who had turned slightly pink and went back to her book with a huff. “I said you were nice,” Tina said. “Queenie, I told you to knock it off.”

Queenie giggled and poured five glasses of wine. “Should we wait for Leta to say kiddush?”

“I don’t think we need to,” Jacob said. “She’s not Jewish, is she?”

“Ah, no; definitely not,” Newt said. He, Leta, and Theseus had grown up splitting their time between the Upper East Side and summers in Connecticut – or the Hamptons, if they were particularly unlucky. He’d known Jewish people before, of course, and Leta wasn’t an actual WASP by definition, but they’d both been forced to attend enough of her father’s Christmas parties.

“Then I’ll say kiddush now, and we can start drinking!”

Without waiting to listen to see if anyone protested, Queenie said something melodic in what Newt assumed to be Hebrew. He certainly knew enough to recognise the “amen” at the end. Queenie pressed a wine glass into his hand. “Drink!”

So he did. And then he got a text from Leta.

**Messages with** Leta  
  
**Leta:** Theseus surprised me with a romantic night in so we’re not showing!   
  
**Newt:** I don’t know why I’m surprised  
  
**Leta:** If I’d told you it was a set up you never would have shown   
  
**Newt:** Is Queenie in on it too?  
  
**Leta:** Of course!   
  
**Leta:** Love you but I’m at your brother’s apartment in DC and I’m not wasting another second of this bye!   
  


Newt tucked his phone into his pocket. “That was Leta. She says she can’t come.”

“Oh, that’s too bad!” Queenie said. “I really like Leta!”

Newt really didn’t appreciate being left alone with three near-strangers, but the wine helped to cut the edge off it. Besides, from what he knew of them, he  _ did _ like Jacob and the Goldstein sisters. Even if Queenie was clearly trying to push him together with Tina.

She was  _ very _ obvious about it, too, Newt thought as Queenie ushered him over to the sofa, where he sat down next to Tina. 

“Teenie, why don’t you ask Newt about Harvard?”

“Oh, I studied biology; I’m not sure it’s the…” He turned to look back at Queenie only to find that she was in the kitchen. “Does she do this often?” he asked Tina.

“Often enough,” Tina said.

“I can, er, recommend some cafes in the area,” Newt said.

“You really don’t have to,” she said.

“Well, when you get in, then,” he said. “And if you choose Yale – I’ll ask Theseus for his recommendations.”

_ “If _ I get in,” Tina said.

“I’m sure you will,” Newt said. He might not have known Tina all that well, but he’d gleaned at Leta’s party that she was absolutely brilliant. And Leta had said that she was in the law fraternity, which surely counted for something.

“Oh, you know what’s  _ lovely?” _ Queenie called. “With Newt here, we have an even set for the kiss.”

“The kiss?” Jacob asked.

“The Chanukah kiss!” Queenie said.

“That’s not a real thing,” Tina said.

“It’s definitely not a real thing,” Jacob said.

“Aw, come on,” Queenie said. “You guys can play along! It wouldn’t kill you!”

“Is Leta this obvious?” Tina asked.

“Not usually,” Newt said.

* * *

He ran into Tina a little over week later on South Street. He didn’t know what to do at first, and his gut instinct was just to walk right by her, but fortunately (or unfortunately, as the case may be), he was with Leta, who shouted, “Tina!”

Newt had half a mind to duck back into the record store, but Leta held tight to his arm as she pushed multiple people aside to get to Tina. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Leta said, as if South Street was just so foreign a place.

“Hi,” Tina said. “I was actually just finishing up a shift volunteering at the AIDS thrift.”

“Oh, Newt  _ loves _ the AIDS thrift,” Leta said. “I think that’s where he gets all of his clothes.”

Newt ignored the dig at his wardrobe, and rolled his eyes. “I do shop there, yes,” he said. “Although that’s not where I get  _ all _ of my clothes.”

“Why don’t we all get a drink?” Leta asked.

“I’m not twenty-one,” Tina said.

“Oh,” Leta said. “Then… we can get a bite to eat?”

Newt knew that this was a set up, and tried to find some excuse to get out of it, but then he caught the look Leta was giving him. Well. They  _ were _ all the way out on South Street, as it was.

“My treat,” Leta added when Tina didn’t respond. “I want to pick your brain about your plans for law school.”

Tina still looked a little bit hesitant, but she said, “Fine.”

“Do you keep kosher?”

“Not strictly,” Tina said. “I don’t eat pork, or shellfish, and I don’t mix meat and dairy, but I’ll eat at a non-kosher restaurant.”

“So no cheesesteak for Tina.”

“That’s right,” Tina said.

“That’s fine; Newt’s a vegan – and there’s a place just a few blocks away that makes a great vegan cheesesteak.”

So they ended up at a vegan restaurant, where Leta ordered all three of them vegan cheesesteaks. “Newt’s only been vegan a few years, but – well, he stopped eating meat when we were kids,” Leta said, which didn’t sound like law school talk.

“I’ve – considered it,” Tina said. “But I’m not convinced I’d be able to manage it. I don’t have the time to prepare everything myself, and neither does my sister, and – we don’t have the money to pay for it.”

“It’s definitely not something everyone can do,” Newt said. “I’m aware that I can afford to buy organic and go out to vegan restaurants and that not everyone has that opportunity. I personally can’t see myself changing my own dietary habits unless my doctor insists I  _ have _ to, for my health.”

“I’d honestly like to – be better about keeping kosher,” Tina said. “But I run into the same issue: time and money. Although – I have to say, this is delicious.”

“Isn’t it?” Leta asked. “Newt and I always go here. There was a place we went to in Cambridge when we were at Harvard, too.”

“You went to Harvard together?” Tina asked.

“Not like that,” Newt said, because he’d been over Leta for years. “We’ve been best friends since we were kids.”

“Exactly,” Leta said. “I honestly thought he was gay until – well, a couple of years ago.” Newt rolled his eyes, and Leta continued. “He’s bi, but so am I – and he never wanted to talk about girls until we were almost done undergrad.”

“I didn’t really talk about  _ guys _ with you, either,” Newt said.

“Whatever,” Leta said. “I guess it  _ did _ annoy your parents more to talk about certain  _ male _ celebrities who shall remain nameless.”

Tina looked like she was trying not to look too curious, so Newt said, “I had a crush on Ansel Elgort when  _ The Fault in Our Stars _ came out, and even though he and I grew up sharing some of the same social circles, my mother couldn’t stand it.”

“Some of the same social circles?”

“Rich, privileged Manhattanites,” Leta said. “Which Newt’s totally forsaken. I, for one, intend to use them for their connections and then litigate the hell out of them.”

“She’s not kidding,” Newt said.

“I’m not,” Leta said. “But we can talk Harvard.” Just then, her phone rang, which Newt, knowing Leta, thought was probably a plan. Leta checked her caller ID. “It’s Theseus! I’m sorry, let me just duck outside to take this!” She pulled a fifty out of her purse and put it down on the table before walking out.

“She’s not coming back, is she?” Tina asked.

“No, I don’t think so,” Newt said, going to take another bite of his vegan cheesesteak. He’d have words for Leta later, but for now – he wasn’t going to cause a scene.

“Do you think they’d stop if we just agreed to go out on a date?”

Newt nearly choked on his cheesesteak. He managed to swallow it, and gasp out, “What?”

“If you want to, that is,” Tina said.

“I – yes, of course I  _ want _ to, Tina,” Newt said. She was gorgeous and smart and kind and compassionate and  _ way _ out of his league. “But – you want to?”

“Yes,” Tina said slowly. “Queenie wouldn’t have been so pushy when you came over for Chanukah if I weren’t – interested.”

Newt took a moment to digest that information. She liked him. She actually  _ liked _ him. He’d only gotten this far once before, and that had been with a guy, so maybe he was  _ still _ a bit out of his depth. “I am, too,” he said. “Interested, that is.”

“Great,” Tina said with a smile. “So how’s Saturday night? We could see a movie?”

“Okay,” Newt agreed. “That sounds – great.”

Tina leaned in and kissed his cheek. “I’m looking forward to it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Newt is actually drastically misunderstanding his brother's intentions (which are definitely "i love my weird vet-student brother and want him to be happy"), which seems uhhh pretty in line with canon and also in line with my own experiences as a younger sibling. This fic isn't angsty; Theseus is every bit as accepting and nice as he seems.
> 
> * * *
> 
> [tumblr](http://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com)


End file.
